I was together with the movie emperor Pei Lie for five years, and we had a daughter. I was always his underground lover who couldn’t be in the spotlight.
In the early morning, the child got sick, and we took our daughter to the hospital.
Suddenly, we encountered paparazzi. He dropped me and the child and ran away quickly.
I was in a flurry, holding my daughter whose fever wouldn’t subside.
The next day, Pei Lie said to the media, “There’s no hidden marriage, no girlfriend, and definitely no child…”
Looking at his earnest face, I suddenly felt very tired.
I packed my things and left the villa with my daughter.
My daughter asked, “Mom, aren’t we going to tell Uncle Pei?”
My eyes were slightly red. My daughter was already four years old, yet she still couldn’t call Pei Lie dad, and she didn’t even know that Pei Lie was her father.
“No,” I wiped away my tears. “Uncle Pei is just an uncle. He’s very busy. Don’t disturb him.”
1.
I drove to the kindergarten for a parents’ activity.
The teacher looked at the back of me and asked, “Has Qiqi’s dad not come again?”
I was embarrassed and said, “He… is very busy.”
The teacher said, “This is the only Children’s Day in a year.”
I said, “I’m very sorry. Qiqi’s dad is abroad and can’t come back.”
The teacher left.
During the activity, all the children were accompanied by their parents, but only I was by Qiqi’s side.
I tried my best to amuse her, but Qiqi wasn’t very interested.
After the activity, when we got home, she raised her little head and asked, “Mom, is dad still in Africa?”
I said, “Yes, dad is taking pictures of elephants in Africa.”
Qiqi looked forward to it and asked, “Then when will he come back?”
I was silent for a while and said softly, “In a while.”
Earlier, Qiqi asked me who her dad was and where he was.
I casually made up a story that he was a photographer who took pictures of animals all over the world.
Qiqi believed it. She sat in front of the TV every day watching the animal world and asked, “Mom, did dad take these pictures?”
I lied to her, “Yes, isn’t dad amazing?”
Qiqi cheered, “Dad is so amazing!”
At one o’clock in the morning, there was a sound in the room.
I opened my eyes sleepily.
My forehead was gently touched by warm lips.
“Awake? Go back to sleep,” the man’s voice was deep and magnetic.
The soft light of the night – light illuminated his well – defined face.
I looked up and met a pair of smiling black eyes.
After Pei Lie kissed me, he leaned over to look at Qiqi and kissed her on the face.
I couldn’t help asking, “Didn’t we agree to come back early today?”
Pei Lie stood up and took off his coat, saying as he did, “I met someone I’ve always wanted to see at the dinner party. It took some time.”
He casually threw his coat on the carpet, undid the buttons of his shirt, revealing his sexy Adam’s apple.
“Who?”
He smiled and pounced on me, hugging me, “Don’t worry. It’s a man, the person in charge of the Cao Group.”
I said, “Oh.”
I wasn’t surprised in my heart.
Women couldn’t easily seduce him, but his future could.
At such an important moment as Children’s Day, he couldn’t delay seeing his daughter for a woman.
What could make him delay was most likely related to his future.
There were so many such situations that I was already used to it.
2.
That day, Pei Lie left in a hurry at four o’clock in the morning.
My daughter held the watch he left behind and asked, “Mom, did Uncle Pei come last night?”
I nodded, “Yes, he specially came to celebrate Children’s Day for you. Qiqi was asleep, so he didn’t disturb you.”
My daughter pouted, “Next time, mom, wake me up! I won’t sleep. Dad doesn’t go home, and Uncle Pei came all the way to accompany Qiqi. Qiqi wants to play with Uncle Pei.”
I forced a smile and said, “Okay.”
I couldn’t tell her that Uncle Pei was her own father.
I used washing up as an excuse to cover up the strangeness of my expression.
If I told others that the famous movie emperor, in the midst of his busy schedule, came home at one o’clock in the morning to see his girlfriend and child, and then rushed back to work at four o’clock in the morning, everyone would praise him as a good man.
Many times, I comforted myself like this.
He had done well enough. Don’t ask for too much.
But the loss, emptiness, and bitterness in my heart grew day by day.
After taking care of Qiqi to finish breakfast and sending her to the kindergarten, I drove to a nearby photo studio to work.
I numbly took ID photos for people with the camera.
Repeat, repeat, repeat…
They praised me for taking good pictures. I smiled and sat down at the table tiredly to rest.
My eyes unconsciously passed over the “Geographical Magazine” on the table, and a place deep in my heart suddenly ached gently.
3.
I met Pei Lie seven years ago.
At that time, I was still a young, beautiful, and carefree college student. I loved outdoor sports and photography. I was full of energy and had a vigorous figure.
My dream was to become a photographer after graduation and carry a backpack to take pictures of animals all over the world.
I never thought that one day I would be a fan.
No, it’s not called being a fan.
It’s called love at first sight.
At that time, Pei Lie was a newbie who had just debuted not long ago.
He had just emerged in the entertainment industry and played the third male role in a very popular ancient idol drama.
He came to our school for a roadshow.
I was dragged by my friend to watch and take pictures.
Pei Lie stood on the stage, shining brightly, making it impossible to take one’s eyes off him.
The host randomly invited an audience member to go up and interact.
As if by fate, when I held up my camera and approached the stage, she chose me.
“Hello, classmate,” on the stage, Pei Lie in a V – neck white shirt reached out his hand with a smile. His black eyes were curved, and he was as approachable as the school – grass classmate at the next table.
My heart suddenly contracted. I, who was always generous, was so nervous that my hands and feet were sweating. I put away my camera and reached out my hand, stammering, “H – hello.”
The moment our palms touched, it was like an electric current surging through in an instant.
In the dark, I seemed to hear the sound of some flower seeds falling into the soil.
As for what kind of flower it was.
At that time, I didn’t know the shape of the flower, nor did I know its name.
4.
After the roadshow, I couldn’t wait to dig out the works Pei Lie had acted in and found that his singing and acting skills were far better than those of many young actors.
Such a person was actually unknown.
I felt it was a pity for him.
So, I edited his works, created a Weibo account for him, and analyzed them in detail.
His few fans came here admiringly and gathered under my Weibo.
I put the photos I took into it and received everyone’s praise.
Someone suggested, “Honey, you take such beautiful pictures. Be Pei Lie’s station sister. We’ll support you.”
With the atmosphere in place, I said impulsively, “Okay.”
Just like that, I somehow became Pei Lie’s station sister, holding a camera to chase his figure.
From being a station sister to a fan – head, and then to a big fan – head, everything developed logically.
Even now, when I look back, I find it hard to understand how this happened.
Before meeting Pei Lie, I never chased stars or mingled in the fan circle.
In just a few months, I actually became a big fan – head.
Seven months later, Pei Lie’s just – rising career suffered a devastating blow and was plagued by negative news.
He was put on ice for as long as a year and a half.
Fans left one after another.
Even those who stayed were secretly climbing the wall.
Only I remained the same.
Originally, it was always the manager who communicated with the fan – head. During that time, the manager didn’t care much about Pei Lie, so he gave my account to Pei Lie and let Pei Lie communicate with me himself.
During the difficult time of a year and a half, we often chatted and encouraged each other, and gradually we became friends from strangers.
I still persevered in updating the individual fan site.
In order to collect materials, we met privately.
At this time, Pei Lie had already let go of his idol burden and didn’t care about contacting fans privately.
I didn’t have much money. All I could give was my skills.
I personally did his makeup, took pictures of him, edited videos, and even started to help him with business promotion.
Although it didn’t have much effect, it was better than nothing.
Pei Lie was very grateful. He said, “Yingying, you are my spiritual pillar. I don’t know how I could have survived without you.”
When I was very tired, a compliment from him could make me as excited as if I had been injected with chicken blood.
If there was a war, I’m afraid I would not hesitate to pick up an AK47 to clear the obstacles for him.
At that time, I thought I was Pei Lie’s angel, specially sent to save him.
He was so weak and helpless. If even I abandoned him, he would really have nothing.
A year and a half later, the popular little flower who had said that Pei Lie had cursed was exposed with a lot of negative news, including the fact that she had insulted Pei Lie, and Pei Lie had only cursed back when he was provoked by her.
Since then, Pei Lie’s unjust case was cleared, and fans and passers – by one after another” ran to Weibo to apologize.
The company lifted the ban on Pei Lie and gave him resources.
He seized the opportunity to switch to filming movies and soared to the top, with irresistible momentum.
After he came home from the awards ceremony, he stuffed the little golden statue into my hand and said, “Yingying, this is our common honor.”
I held the little golden statue with him and hugged each other tightly.
5.
During this year and a half, Pei Lie never gave up on his career. He actively promoted business, visited various big shots, and didn’t lose heart even if he was rejected many times.
He would only cry in front of me.
After crying, he would visit again the next day.
Whenever he had time, he would ask me to act with him.
I practiced lines with him, and he performed reactions beside me and asked me to comment.
From beginning to end, he didn’t accept unspoken rules, didn’t give up his bottom line, and didn’t give up his dream.
My feelings for Pei Lie began with his appearance, were loyal to his talent, and sank into his character.
In the difficult years, his indomitable spirit and his perseverance in falling down and getting up again and again made me like him more and more, and even fall in love with him.
We cherished each other, did outdoor sports together, talked about everything under the sun together.
We struggled together, were sad together, and laughed together.
We loved each other and then got together. It was so natural.
At this time, I finally understood that the flower seeds that fell on the day I met Pei Lie were love.
Now the flowers are in full bloom, fragrant and brilliant.
Perhaps it’s too gorgeous. The appearance of the flower is covered with a layer of light, not very clear.
Pei Lie’s career revival brought new tests to our relationship.
If he was still unknown, there would be no problem for us to be together openly.
But he made a comeback, and his career was booming.
What’s more unexpected is that he actually won the first movie emperor throne so quickly.
Larger investments and social networks swarmed in.
He could go further and climb higher.
At this moment, I, his out – of – the – circle girlfriend with no background, was out of place.
I proposed to break up with him, but Pei Lie didn’t agree.
During that time, both sides were very painful.
We didn’t want to let go of this relationship, but for practical reasons, it wasn’t very suitable for us to be together.
The flower of love faded away its halo and revealed its original appearance.
It was a camellia.
Pure, beautiful, fragrant, but with a faint bitter taste.
6.
After making a fuss for a while, when we were about to break up, I found out that I was pregnant.
“Please keep this child,” Pei Lie knelt in front of me and begged, “Yingying, I’m begging you.”
He took out a beautiful diamond ring and proposed to me, “Marry me.”
He said that although he couldn’t give me a legal marriage for the time being, he swore that he would only have me as his woman in his life.
He said it so sincerely and piously that it was touching.
You know, at this time, he had just transformed from an idol to a powerful actor, and his status was not stable.
Not to mention having a child, even having a girlfriend could have a devastating impact on his career.
But he knelt down and begged me to give birth to the child.
I thought he must love me terribly.
I loved him too, so I finally nodded and agreed.
“That’s great, Yingying. We’re going to have a baby!”
He hugged me and spun around.
He laughed.
I also laughed.
Happiness was so simple. Just because we were going to have a baby, we laughed like two fools.
At that time, I naively thought that I would just wait for a while.
When his career was stable, I could be in the spotlight.
Since we couldn’t make our relationship public, I could only have a child out of wedlock.
During the critical period of his career, he asked me to hide it from my parents.
My parents were very angry when they knew that I was having a child out of wedlock and was determined to give birth to it. They wanted to break off relations with me.
There were a series of quarrels, crying, and extreme pulling.
In the end, I was still firm in carrying the child and moved into Pei Lie’s villa, becoming his lover who couldn’t be seen in the light.
Pei Lie was very busy.
His career was getting bigger and bigger, and he had more and more awards and honors. He became famous all over the country.
I was proud of him, but I was also very painful.
For his career, I broke up with my parents.
For his career, on the day I gave birth, he came back and left at night. I still had to pretend to be okay and say, “You can go. I’m fine.”
For his career, I made up a father who went to Africa for the child and didn’t dare to tell her that Uncle Pei was her biological father.
For his career, I gave up my dream, silently raised the child, and became his lover.
Every time he said, “Yingying, wait a little longer. In a while, we can get married officially. I want to introduce you to the people of the whole country!”
I waited and waited.
One year.
Another year.
The child was born.
The child grew up.
The child went to kindergarten.
I was tired.
7.
On the child’s fourth birthday, Pei Lie rushed home at eight o’clock in the evening and held a small birthday party. The family got together rarely.
Qiqi rarely saw Uncle Pei and refused to sleep. She didn’t fall asleep until 12 o’clock.
At one o’clock in the morning, Qiqi had a fever.
It wouldn’t go down no matter what.
We drove to the hospital.
In such an urgent situation, Pei Lie first put on a hat and a mask and dressed up before rushing to the underground parking lot.
It was raining heavily outside, blurring the neon lights of the whole city.
The rainwater accumulated on the road, reflecting the faint outline of the city.
The car sped by, crushing the light on the ground.
I kept coaxing the child, anxious and uneasy.
We arrived at the front door of the hospital.
We got out of the car and carried the child to the emergency room.
Click.
In the sound of the heavy rain, the sound of the camera shutter rang.
That was a sound I had heard countless times before.
It was very familiar.
So familiar that I could hear it even in a thunderstorm.
Pei Lie was also very familiar with it.
So familiar that he didn’t even look back and directly stuffed the child into my arms.
I threw away the umbrella and hurriedly caught the child.
He quickly rushed back to the car and drove away.
Qiqi burst into tears.
I stood in the heavy rain, holding the child.
The black umbrella rolled beside me.
The lightning split the sky, and the rain poured down. The field of vision was blurred.
Warm tears mixed with the rain, distorting the scene in front of me.
I saw him getting farther and farther away in the blur…
That night was like countless nights when I took the child to the hospital alone. I communicated with the doctor, coaxed the child, got the medicine, and had the injection and infusion. There was no difference.
The only difference was that I sat in the corner like a drowned rat, my heart hurting so much that it was hard to breathe.
My phone kept ringing. I glanced at the caller ID and didn’t want to answer.
In the morning, after the rain stopped, the sky cleared. I looked out of the window at the blue – as – wash sky and murmured softly, “The sky in Africa should be very blue, too.”
When Qiqi woke up, I took her home by taxi, exhausted.
My phone was lying in my bag, showing 20 missed calls, all from Pei Lie.
Finally, there was a WeChat message from him.
“Yingying, how is Qiqi?
“Has the fever gone down? What caused it?”
He had been concerned about Qiqi’s condition, and it could be seen from his words how anxious he was.
But he still didn’t come to the hospital to take a look.
Not even once.
Finally, he said: “I’m going to the film set.”
I rubbed the phone for a long time and replied: “Qiqi is fine.”
Pei Lie is a very dedicated actor.
In the cold winter, when the director asked him to jump into the lake, he jumped without hesitation.
He is always on time for filming, even early, and never keeps others waiting.
If a scene is not shot well, he will take the initiative to ask for a reshoot, even if it is repeated more than ten times.
But he is too ambitious and dedicated. His time is always allocated to his career, and the time for me and the child is very scarce.
He broke his promises again and again, and I endured it again and again.
I was really tired. I couldn’t help sending him a message: “Pei Lie, I will apply to take pictures for the Geographical Magazine team in a while, taking pictures of animals, local customs and practices. You take care of the child.”
In the afternoon, I received a message from Pei Lie: “You want to go to Africa to take pictures of animals again? That place is very dangerous and hard. Why do you want to go? Are you still angry about what happened last night? I can take a vacation in a while and come back to accompany you…
“By the way, try not to go out these days. Sister An will send someone to watch over you…”
Seeing the content, I smiled bitterly.
When it came to going to Africa to take pictures of animals, Pei Lie always opposed it.
But for me, what was important was not going to Africa, but fulfilling my dream.
Where to go and what to shoot could be coordinated. I needed a platform that allowed me to display my creativity.
It didn’t have to be Africa. It could be Europe, America, or even a small village in China.
He could fulfill his dream, but he asked me to give up my dream, stay at home to raise the child, and wait for him who didn’t go home…
Ding.
The phone rang with the sound of a news push.
I clicked it.
The news of #Pei Lie Suspected of Hidden Marriage# was on the hot – search list.
8.
The matter of Pei Lie’s hidden marriage caused a big stir. A certain paparazzi big V exposed relevant information, vowing that Pei Lie was secretly married.
He analyzed a lot of clues, suspecting that Pei Lie was keeping a mistress, and even had a child.
One of the pictures was a blurry photo of Pei Lie holding Qiqi getting out of the car door and me getting out of the car with an umbrella in the heavy rain last night.
They were just two blurry backs, and nothing could be seen clearly.
Pei Lie’s reaction was right.
He didn’t look back. He threw the child to me in the first place, quickly lowered his head and got into the car and left, so that no one could take a picture of his face.
Netizens mocked in the comments, saying that it was clearly a woman taking a child to the hospital at night, and maybe she took a ride – hailing car, and the driver helped hold the child. But it was actually said that the movie emperor was secretly married. It was really ridiculous.
Netizens didn’t believe it, and I breathed a sigh of relief for Pei Lie.
After sighing with relief, I felt extremely uncomfortable.
Many times it was like this.
He broke his promises, failed to keep appointments, didn’t go home, and left me and the child, all with legitimate reasons.
I couldn’t even blame him.
Blaming him seemed like being unreasonable and making excessive demands.
But I felt very uncomfortable.
More and more uncomfortable.
I nervously followed up on this news.
The big V started to release more information and took out two back – view photos of Pei Lie and me traveling abroad, trying to prove Pei Lie’s hidden marriage.
The back view in one of the photos was very clear. Pei Lie’s clothes and pants were dug out to have been worn in a certain place, used to prove that the back view was him.
This matter got bigger and bigger.
In the evening, Pei Lie responded on the show: “There is no hidden marriage, no wife, and no child. Thank you.”
He smiled calmly, as if nothing had happened.
I stared at his face without blinking, trying to find some clues.
There was nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
After a sharp pain in my heart, I suddenly calmed down.
The next day, Sister An, whom Pei Lie mentioned, came to the door and asked to place two bodyguards and asked me to stay in the villa 24 hours a day.
I refused her arrangement.
She was very angry: “Do you know how much trouble you will cause Pei Lie if you don’t listen?”
I said: “I want to live a normal life.”
She stared at me for a moment and sneered: “Don’t think I don’t know. People like you can’t wait to be photographed by paparazzi so that you can come out of the shadows. Let me tell you, don’t dream about it. Be honest!”
“Mom,” Qiqi hugged my thigh in fear.
Sister An rubbed her head: “Good heavens, Pei Lie, you play with women, and you even have a child… You really know how to cause me trouble.”
I suppressed my anger and gently asked the child to go to the children’s room to play.
After Qiqi left, I cooled my face and asked: “Even if me and the child are really exposed, will it have that much of an impact on him?”
“Of course!” Sister An said, “He signed a single – person agreement! You must never be exposed.”
I said: “He is indeed single.”
Sister An was stunned for a moment.
My voice was calm: “He has never married me from beginning to end. He has always been single and has not violated the agreement. He is very cautious. He doesn’t allow me to call him husband, and he doesn’t allow Qiqi to call him dad. Qiqi doesn’t even know he is her father.”
Sister An was silent for a moment and then smiled: “Very good. It should be like this.”
Yes, it should be like this.
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t.
I said: “I quit my job.”
At noon, I went to the photo studio to resign.
The curator kept trying to persuade me to stay, but I still left firmly.
Sister An was satisfied with my understanding and asked me to stay quietly and not cause trouble for Pei Lie.
I said: “Okay.”
I then went to the kindergarten to withdraw Qiqi from school.
The teacher was very regretful: “Why? Qiqi has adapted well.”
I said: “Qiqi’s dad has settled in another city. We have to move there.”
“I see,” the teacher said.
The teacher wished our family a happy reunion.
I thanked her.
Sister An was even more satisfied when she knew that Qiqi wouldn’t even go to kindergarten.
A few days later, Qiqi recovered completely.
I packed my things, took off the ring on my hand, and put it on the bedside table.
I scanned the home where I had lived for several years. Pei Lie was never stingy with material things. Everything was exquisite and luxurious.
But this home didn’t belong to me.
Qiqi asked: “Mom, aren’t we going to tell Uncle Pei?”
I touched her little head and said: “Uncle Pei is very busy. We don’t want to disturb him.”
Qiqi said: “But… But I will miss Uncle Pei.”
I said: “Uncle Pei is just an uncle. We have been living in his house for a long time. It’s time to move out.”
Qiqi nodded her little head: “Yes, we can’t always trouble others.”
I smiled faintly, took her little hand, and said: “Let’s go, Qiqi.”
Qiqi said: “Okay.”
9.
Qiqi and I left smoothly.
Sister An went to deal with other things and was not in the villa.
Before leaving, I glanced at the carefully – tended garden, in which there were several camellia plants.
It is said that camellias can bloom longer than other flowers, up to seven months.
My feelings for Pei Lie also lasted for seven years.
Flowers bloom and wither in their time.
Even if they bloom extremely brightly, there will be an end.
I used to think that being with the one I loved through all difficulties was a happy thing.
But that happiness was gradually worn away in endless waiting and countless lonely days.
On the way, I called home again.
“The number you dialed cannot be connected…”
I still couldn’t get through.
After falling out with my family, I often called, but I was blocked.
I also went home, but every time I was stopped outside.
First, I took Qiqi to the reserved hotel and took her to the amusement park she had been longing for.
I thought they would soon find out that Qiqi and I were gone.
But after waiting for two days, Pei Lie didn’t contact me.
I didn’t know if he didn’t find out or if he didn’t care.
“Mom, don’t play with your phone all the time,” Qiqi said unhappily when we were eating pizza.
I was stunned for a moment, then put down my phone and said: “Okay.”
It was really strange. Obviously, I was the one who wanted to leave, but in the end, I was the one waiting for the phone call.
I hoped to have a good talk with him on the phone and show my determination to break up with him.
I had thought a lot and prepared a long speech in my mind, but I never thought that he wouldn’t contact me at all.
This made me seem like a self – affectionate clown.
In fact, over the years, I had always been like a clown.
Thinking carefully, what was there to say?
There was nothing to say.
I would just condemn him for not doing certain things.
I could predict that he would defend himself by saying that he had no choice and had various legitimate reasons.
Then we would start the same quarrel again and again.
I was so familiar with the process that I could recite it backwards, and in the end, I wouldn’t get anything good.
So talking actually had no meaning.
My joys, sorrows, grief, and happiness were insignificant compared to his career.
Repeating insignificant things in his ears wouldn’t make him change his mind, but would only make him feel confused.
Why bother?
I smiled with relief and deleted all of Pei Lie’s contact information.
I also blocked the people related to him.
It’s not difficult to get out of the entertainment circle.
Saying it’s difficult is a lie.
In this era where everyone is scrambling for traffic, if there is no deliberate marketing, who would care about a person’s entry or exit from the circle and what they do?
As an ordinary person like me, no one pays attention.
As long as Pei Lie doesn’t see us, even if Qiqi and I run naked on the street, it would at most make people laugh and cause no big stir.
Qiqi and I want to live a normal life, and Pei Lie wants to focus on his work. It’s the best solution for us to separate and never see each other again.
We knew this clearly from the beginning, but because of the so – called love, we forced ourselves to be together, causing trouble and eventually making everyone tired.
Now it’s all over.
Both sides are free.
I took Qiqi and flew back to my hometown, but was turned away again.
My father is a tough – tempered person who keeps his word.
He is a self – made man who has become famous locally by keeping his promises. When he said he wouldn’t recognize me as his daughter, he really meant it.
In his opinion, reputation is extremely important.
I, his daughter, am a stain on him, which will interfere with his reputation and career, so he can abandon me without hesitation.
Probably all men have such a strong sense of career.
They can abandon anything that blocks their career, even their family.
My father is like this, and so is Pei Lie.
Of course, I was the one who was sorry to my family first, so I could put down my dignity and beg again and again.
But I have never been sorry to Pei Lie, so I left very resolutely.
“Dad, Mom, Brother, Qiqi and I are back to see you,” I shouted outside the villa.
The courtyard was quiet, with no response.
I put the gifts at the gate and left with Qiqi.
Qiqi was a little uneasy: “Don’t grandpa and grandma like me?”
I touched her head and said: “They will like you because Qiqi is so nice.”
Qiqi is the apple of my eye. I bring her back every year, but every time I’m turned away.
I made mistakes and it’s right for me to be ignored, but Qiqi has done nothing wrong.
She shouldn’t have to go through this.
From now on, I won’t bring her back again.
On the way, I received a strange call.
When I answered it, I heard a familiar voice.
“Yingying, where did you take Qiqi? Sister An said you’ve been gone for two days.”
“Back to my hometown,” I said briefly.
A few days ago, I had a lot to say, waiting for him to call so that I could tell him.
But now, I didn’t want to say anything.
It was like the few years I was with him. From talking about everything, laughing and crying together, to calmly smiling and saying “You’re back,” talking about two things about work and two things about the child, and then falling into silence.
An invisible wall stood between us.
Some people say that if there is too much of a gap between husband and wife, they will eventually break up.
I didn’t believe it before.
Now I do.
He stepped into the glamorous circle, while I stayed where I was. We communicated less, couldn’t understand each other, and finally could only look at each other without words.
This is probably what is called having no common language.
“Going out for a walk is good, too,” the person on the other end of the phone was silent for a moment, then asked cautiously, “When will you come back?”
I said: “I’m not coming back.”
“Not coming back?”
“Yeah.” I turned my head to look at the evening sky outside the car window. The pointed buildings divided the setting sun into two.
The picture was magnificent.
Look, there’s nothing that can’t be separated.
After separation, it’s quite beautiful.
“Pei Lie, we’re breaking up. Don’t come to see us in the future. You can focus on your career,” I said, leaning back in the back seat. “Come to see Qiqi when you allow her to call you dad someday. Of course, I hope you never see her in your life, so as not to make her confused.”
After that, I hung up the phone and blocked him again.
10
The next day, I took Qiqi to City S.
Before that, I had sent my resume to a magazine that specialized in photographing fashion models.
The application materials still used the photos I had taken of Pei Lie.
It was ridiculous.
Because apart from taking pictures of him, I had only taken ID photos at a photo studio.
The only presentable works I had were the photos of Pei Lie.
The magazine accepted me smoothly.
Just like that, I joined the magazine as a photographer.
A real photographer with creative significance.
Rather than a master who presses the shutter to take ID photos every day.
I rented a house, found a kindergarten, and sent Qiqi there.
Qiqi was very sensible and said, “Mom, don’t worry about work. I’ll be very good.”
My eyes turned red, and I gently hugged her. “Remember, don’t go with anyone except Mom.”
Qiqi asked, “What about Uncle Pei?”
I said, “He can’t either.”
The hot search about Pei Lie’s secret marriage was suppressed. After all, Pei Lie was very cautious, and the paparazzi couldn’t get any solid evidence.
A few back – view photos couldn’t prove anything at all.
I deleted many apps and turned off the message notifications. The news of the entertainment industry had nothing to do with me from then on.
Life suddenly became calm.
Away from Pei Lie, I didn’t have to worry about being secretly photographed by paparazzi, didn’t have to look forward to his return every day, and didn’t have to be trapped in the photo studio every day.
It was so nice.
I didn’t go to Africa to photograph animals.
It was indeed not very convenient to work with a child.
But I was willing to take her with me.
At the beginning of being a photographer, I had no achievements and my salary was very low.
This was a highly competitive industry, mainly relying on the network of relationships.
If someone made introductions and there were many commercial orders, life would be comfortable.
If no one made introductions and I followed the magazine’s arrangements, the money I got would be very little.
Fortunately, my skills were good, and I had a talent for photographing people. Gradually, there were repeat customers, and I could take private orders.
I also took part – time jobs online.
The price per order quickly rose from 200 to 800.
Not as good as a famous photographer, but enough to live on and buy beautiful little dresses for Qiqi.
Gradually, some relatively poor young stars in the entertainment industry came to me to take pictures.
They couldn’t afford famous photographers, so they came to me to give it a try.
I treated each of them equally and did my best.
Without them having to say anything, I would choose their best angles and best moments, and take pictures of them with the spirit of definitely making them famous.
If the pictures weren’t good, I would make them do it again and again, making them suffer a lot.
But they enjoyed this pain.
Especially when they saw the finished photos, their eyes would light up with excitement.
This also gave me a great sense of accomplishment.
Every time, I would get off work on time to pick up Qiqi.
A career is certainly important, but family also needs to be there for each other.
I didn’t want Qiqi to wait anxiously as I had to.
Because being late has a broken – window effect.
The first time you’re late to pick up your child, there will be a second and a third time.
Gradually, you’ll get used to it.
Later, you may not pick up the child at all and let someone else do it.
You may even not go home and find a nanny to accompany Qiqi.
Just like Pei Lie.
From being on time, to being late, to breaking an appointment, and then to breaking an appointment again and again without any psychological burden…
Every time he had a reason.
I could also tell Qiqi that I had work and might be late.
But I didn’t want to do that.
When I said that I had to be late because of work, the sensible Qiqi would definitely say, “Mom, it doesn’t matter,” but I knew that she would be sad inside.
Days passed quietly and fulfillingly.
Before long, a set of photos I took became popular on the Internet.
The protagonist of the photos was a young star. With this set of school – uniform photos, he became famous overnight and was rated as the national school hunk.
11
“Sister Yingying, you’re a great hero. I want to invite you to dinner!”
The young star excitedly called me.
I couldn’t refuse and accepted.
The young star was called Zhong Ci. He had a cute and handsome appearance, and when he smiled, two little tiger teeth showed.
Just looking at his face, you might think he was a little handsome boy.
In fact, his body was strong and tall, with eight – pack abs, and the contrast was obvious.
When I saw him at that time, I wanted to take a set of contrast photos to reflect his contradictory characteristics.
Sure enough, after the photos were sent out and promoted, they completely went viral.
At the dinner table, he kept praising me.
I drank a little wine and became talkative. “Actually, there’s no need to thank me. I received the money, and it’s my job to capture your characteristics. Moreover, to make the photos successful, marketing and luck are needed. Everything has to be in place, including the right time, place, and people.”
Zhong Ci poured me another glass of wine. “Sister, some photographers have also tried your concept, but they all failed in the end. Only your photos are so impactful that they can be successfully marketed. Sister, you have great talent!”
It was the first time I had received such affirmative praise from a client. I was happy inside and smiled, raising my glass. “Wish you a bright future.”
He also raised his glass. “And wish you success in your dreams.”
I was stunned. Success in my dreams?
I kind of liked this 21 – year – old little boy.
After that, Zhong Ci introduced many commercial orders to me, all of his friends.
Most of them were trainees, young stars, and little internet celebrities.
Their photos were not as famous as Zhong Ci’s, but they were very satisfied with the photos I took at my price.
After coming and going, the relationship between Zhong Ci and me got better and better.
He was very similar to Pei Lie.
He struggled in the trough for a long time. After seizing the opportunity, he tried his best to climb up and didn’t let go of any chance. Now he had successfully won the role of the second male lead in an S – class TV drama.
He said I was his lucky star and invited me again. “Sister Yingying, can you be my exclusive photographer?”
I smiled faintly. “Okay, as long as you pay enough.”
I had passed the impulsive age. I had exhausted all my enthusiasm on Pei Lie. No matter how eager or passionate he was, I always remained calm.
Zhong Ci’s success made me famous in the circle. Countless invitations came flying in like snowflakes.
Among them, there was an invitation that offered 100,000 yuan to ask me to take pictures of a star.
100,000 yuan was very attractive.
I said, “Please understand that I have a child and can only shoot in this city, and I have to finish work before 4 pm.”
The other side said, “No problem.”
I gladly went to the designated place.
I walked in.
A familiar tall and slender figure stood in front of the floor – to – ceiling window. The sunlight haloed his outline, shining brightly.
Pei Lie.
I turned around and left.
“Yingying!”
Pei Lie rushed over and grabbed me.
“Let go!”
There were only the two of us in the room. Pei Lie hugged me tightly.
I took a breath and gave up struggling. “Pei Lie, let go.”
“I won’t let go! Yingying, you’re so cruel. You made me look for you for so long!”
He accused me.
I turned my head and saw the expression of regaining what was lost on his face. My heart was complicated.
“Pei Lie, we’ve already broken up.”
“I didn’t agree.”
“We should have broken up long ago.”
“Don’t say such things.”
Pei Lie held me tightly.
I let him hug me.
I savored it carefully, but I couldn’t find the feeling of hugging each other in the past.
After the camellias bloom, they will surely wither.
Love is gone, and the emotions have dissipated.
Those hugs that once made people moved and happy can no longer arouse any enthusiasm.
Pei Lie was whispering love in my ear, asking me to go back.
I listened to his babbling and said nothing.
He was holding me very tightly, and it hurt a little.
I listened for a long time and then asked, “Can you let Qiqi call you Dad openly?”
He suddenly fell silent.
I asked again, “Can we get married openly?”
He was silent for a long time and then said with difficulty, “Yingying, give me a little more time…”
I pushed his hand.
This time, the force was not as strong as before, and I pushed him away easily.
Look, no matter how much he loves, when it comes to his future, he can let go.
“Why do you think I should give you time?” I asked him. “What gave you the illusion that I would always wait? That I would always be eager to marry you?
“Because you’re a successful actor, an actor – king, you earn a lot, and you have a great reputation, while I’m just an ordinary person, so I should always wait for you silently in the back, leaving when you wave and coming when you beckon?
“Because you think you’re stronger than me, so I should sacrifice everything and support you like a subject supports a king?”
Pei Lie was silent.
I said, “Or is it because you’re an actor – king, so it’s not sexual harassment when you deceive me to this place and hug and kiss me without my consent? Can the law define you as innocent?”
Pei Lie opened his eyes wide, as if he couldn’t believe that I was so heartless.
“Yingying, you know I didn’t mean that…”
“We’ve broken up, Pei Lie.” I said.
Pei Lie was a little angry. “But I’m Qiqi’s father! Is it a crime for me to see my wife and child?”
My eyes were sour. “Pei Lie, we’ve never been married from the beginning to the end. Qiqi was born by me alone in the hospital. She takes my surname, Liang. My name is Liang Ying, and her name is Liang Xinqi, not Pei! It was you who didn’t let her call you Dad and not take your surname before. To prevent the child from slipping up, you said you were her uncle… Now you say she’s your child. Then dare you admit it openly?”
Pei Lie’s lips moved, but he was speechless.
I stared at him and continued, “I don’t need you to marry me, and I don’t need you to make it public that I’m your girlfriend. I don’t care anymore. As long as you make it public that Qiqi is your daughter, I’ll allow you to see her as a father. Can you do it?”
There was a silence.
The sunlight penetrated through the floor – to – ceiling window, and half of the room was bright, while the other half was dark.
Pei Lie stood at the boundary of light and dark, and his face was blurred.
He didn’t answer.
But not answering was an answer.
I wiped away my tears and walked out of the room.
12
On Wednesday, after I picked up Qiqi and went home, a familiar figure blocked my way downstairs of the apartment.
It was Sister An.
She was very unhappy. “Pei Lie wants to see you.”
The way she looked at me was like looking at a piece of dog shit that couldn’t be shaken off.
I said, “No.”
Sister An was very angry. “What are you doing? You were told to stay quietly and keep a low profile, but you ran to City S to be a photographer! And you became famous! Do you want to ruin Pei Lie?”
I paused and walked forward without looking back.
“Hey, did you hear me?” She chased after me and grabbed me.
Qiqi was so scared that she shouted, “Mom!”
I pushed Sister An away forcefully and said in her incredulous eyes, “Don’t disturb me and my child. If you dare to show up again, I’ll immediately go to the street and make public my relationship with Pei Lie.”
Sister An hesitated for a moment and said, “You won’t do that. You gave birth to his child and waited for him for several years, just to be with him openly. You won’t ruin him.”
I said, “I used to be like that, but not now.”
Sister An frowned. “Okay, you win. This strategy of retreating to advance has driven Pei Lie crazy. He has pushed off many announcements in the past two months and has been looking for you everywhere. Now that things have come to this, you’ve achieved your goal. Don’t be willful anymore…”
I took out my phone and dialed a number that I knew by heart.
It was answered in one second.
“Yingying?”
“Tell your people not to harass me and Qiqi anymore.” I said calmly. “Pei Lie, I’m not your accessory, and I’m not playing any strategy of retreating to advance. I won’t stay obediently in the villa 24 hours a day and not go anywhere. We’ve broken up. If you’re so afraid that Qiqi and I will hurt your career, you can simply never see us again. As long as we don’t meet, even if I go to the street and tell others that Qiqi is your daughter, without evidence, no one will believe it.”
I looked at the puzzled Sister An and continued, “Maybe you can hire a killer and create a car accident to make me and Qiqi disappear from this world, so that you can sleep soundly…”
“You know I won’t do that. Why do you have to say it on purpose to hurt me? Did Sister An go to see you?” Pei Lie asked.
I didn’t want to listen to him continue talking nonsense, so I hung up the phone and said calmly to Sister An, “I’ve already communicated with Pei Lie. We’ve broken up, not having a tantrum. If you harass me again, I’ll call the police.”
Sister An couldn’t believe it. “How is it possible? How could you give up such an excellent man as Pei Lie? Even I…”
She suddenly shut up.
I suddenly realized that Sister An had feelings for Pei Lie, so she was hostile to me.
“You like him? Then go after him. I don’t care.”
I took Qiqi’s hand and walked into the apartment building.
Sister An didn’t chase after us.
“Mom…” Qiqi took my hand worriedly. “That woman came again. What’s her relationship with Uncle Pei? Are we causing trouble for Uncle Pei?”
My heart ached, and I squatted down and hugged her. “No, we’ve left and won’t disturb Uncle Pei anymore.”
At night, after Qiqi fell asleep, I sat by the window and looked at the neon lights outside. After thinking for a long time, I decided not to move.
Why should I hide and run around for irrelevant people?
What crime did I commit that I need to cower and flee?
I walked to the small bed and looked at Qiqi’s sleeping face. I smiled slightly.
Having lost Pei Lie and my family, I won’t be defeated.
Because I already have the person I love most in the world.
My dear daughter.
For her, I have to be strong and move forward bravely.
13
I threw myself into work crazily.
I saved money to buy a house.
I wanted to settle down in City S.
This was a city full of opportunities.
If I had my own house, even if it was small, I would be very happy.
I didn’t want to live in a beautiful big house but feel lost inside.
There wouldn’t be people like Sister An who regarded me as a canary that could only rely on men and looked down on me extremely.
Nor would there be people like bodyguards who showed respect on the surface but despised me inside.
Perhaps some people think that as long as they are given enough money, they can ignore these things.
But I couldn’t.
Compared with material things, I paid more attention to personal dignity and wanted to realize my dreams.
Moreover, I never lacked material things.
It’s difficult to live a luxurious life, but it’s never a problem to support myself and my child.
It may seem a bit late to pursue my dreams at almost 30 years old.
Then seize the time. Don’t waste time on regrets. Do things with enthusiasm and piety.
Just as I once went all out to give everything for love, now I can also burn myself for my dreams.
I made a mistake and I’ll bear the consequences myself.
Then get up and keep moving forward.
Every day, my schedule was full, but I still set aside time to accompany my child.
Qiqi was very sensible and said, “Mom, you don’t have to work so hard to pick me up. Auntie will take care of me.”
I hugged her. “It’s not hard for Mom to pick up Qiqi.”
Qiqi said, “Mom, it must be very difficult for you to work and take care of me at the same time. I also want to do something for Mom.”
I said, “It’s not difficult. Because Mom needs Qiqi. As long as Qiqi is by my side, Mom will be full of motivation. Qiqi, don’t have a psychological burden and Mom doesn’t need you to do anything. Because your existence itself brings Mom happiness and joy.”
Qiqi happily kissed me.
The mother and daughter hugged each other.
The happiness I once felt when hugging Pei Lie had disappeared unconsciously, but now I felt it again.
My daughter.
Her existence made me happy.
I continued to work like crazy and save money.
Only by saving enough money could I pursue my dreams without any burden.
Zhong Ci said I was his lucky star, and now he had become mine.
The role of the second male lead he played became popular, and his status rose steadily.
The photos that made him famous overnight became particularly important at this turning – point in his life.
Countless people came to him.
Zhong Ci also introduced bigger clients to me.
My price increased again. I resigned from the magazine and became a freelance photographer, earning a lot of money.
I soon saved enough for the down – payment of a house.
Because of my rising status, people would call me “teacher” when they met me, and their attitudes were very respectful.
Even when I took Qiqi to the studio to work, no one would say anything.
Qiqi also fell in love with photography. I saw her playing with the photography equipment.
When I was free, I would teach her.
When I was working, she would play with the camera beside me, taking pictures randomly, just like I did when I was a child.
Occasionally, she would be naughty and break some harmless things, but no one dared to comment.
Because I was a famous photographer.
People with good skills and high status always have privileges.
Perhaps the title of “the actor – king’s wife” that I once expected would also bring me such privileges.
But it couldn’t make me prouder than the status I earned through my own hard work.
Only then did I realize that lucky stars help each other, and they grow together.
Just like Zhong Ci and me.
But when I was with Pei Lie, I was forced to restrain myself and go home to be an invisible person.
He didn’t respect me equally.
The halo of love blinded me from seeing the essence of things and dragged me down for so many years.
Now, I’ve come ashore from the river, standing far away, observing and thinking, and only then did I realize how irrational I was as a person in the situation.
I no longer cared about how he used to view me.
I didn’t regret loving him.
I also didn’t regret leaving him.
I dared to love and hate, and my heart was as firm as a rock.
14
Occasionally, I would see Pei Lie, fully armed, waiting in the car at the entrance of the apartment.
I was so familiar with him that I could recognize him at a glance.
When he saw Qiqi and me, he pressed down his hat, opened the car door, got out, and walked up to us, saying in a low voice, “Yingying, Qiqi…”
He was dressed so tightly and his voice was so low that Qiqi didn’t recognize him. She looked at him in confusion.
I smiled and deliberately said loudly, “Mr. Actor – king Pei, what a lucky coincidence to meet you here…”
People around looked over, and he immediately got into the car and didn’t dare to talk to me anymore.
I looked at him across the green belt, with a mocking smile.
He seemed a little embarrassed and drove away.
As my status rose, I came into contact with more and more big – name stars.
Occasionally, I would meet Pei Lie in the studio.
He would wander around nearby, call me “Teacher Liang,” praise my photography skills, and talk to me like a stranger, as if we had never been in love and never had a child.
I politely called him “Mr. Pei.”
His eyes lit up, and he wanted to communicate more with me. I took out my camera and shook it. “Mr. Pei, I’m going to work.”
He left disappointed.
A few days later, Sister An stopped me privately when I was going to the bathroom.
“Liang Ying, Pei Lie really loves you. Get back together with him.”
I washed my hands carefully and looked at her tired, made – up face through the glass. I asked coldly, “You like him, why are you persuading us to get back together?”
She was silent for a moment and then said, “Over the years, I’ve been following Pei Lie. He’s been keeping himself clean and has never gotten involved with other women. It’s hard to believe. With his appearance, status, and wealth, he’s remained chaste, especially in the chaotic entertainment industry. He’s really… like a lotus emerging from the mud. I really… couldn’t help but like him.”
I said, “Oh.”
Sister An said, “I was very jealous when I knew about your existence, and I’m sorry for my bad attitude towards you.”
I finished washing my hands and said, “Understood.”
Sister An said, “It’s very difficult for him. His background isn’t strong, and it’s really hard for him to gain a foothold. He has to be careful every step of the way. You’ve seen his most embarrassed and lowest moments, so you should understand how hard it is for him to get to where he is today. His career is his life. He’s been chaste for you. Why can’t you understand him?”
I turned my head and said calmly, “I understand his difficulties, so I broke up with him. If he insists on getting back together, he’s just causing trouble for himself.”
Then I left the bathroom.
I had work to do and was in a hurry.
Other people were irrelevant and not worth my time.
Sister An didn’t come to me again.
Even Pei Lie didn’t dare to talk to me anymore.
Two years later, I bought a house.
Everything was in my favor.
Just then, house prices plummeted, and I had saved a lot of money, enough to buy a house and still live a comfortable life with Qiqi.
I happily invited Zhong Ci, my great lucky star, and several new friends to celebrate.
“If you’re busy, you don’t have to come specially.”
“I must come!”
In the evening, Zhong Ci came happily.
Zhong Ci, who was also very busy, could keep his promise. I became more and more confused about why Pei Lie had broken his promises again and again.
We had dinner together in the new house.
Qiqi held the camera and took pictures of us.
I looked at the photos. The angles and atmosphere were especially good.
She had inherited my talent.
15
Qiqi was in the second grade of primary school, and an opportunity presented itself. The global photography competition started.
Qiqi became more and more sensible and said, “Mom, you can go around the world to take pictures and fulfill your dream. I’ll also work hard to fulfill my own dream.”
I once thought that I had to stay with her until she was 18 years old before I could go around the world to take pictures.
Later, Qiqi told me that it wasn’t necessary.
Doing so would put a psychological burden on her.
She said, “Mom, you said that lucky stars help each other, and love is mutual. Now I’m helping you fulfill your dream, and in the future, Mom will help me. You can go with peace of mind.”
At that moment, I cried until my eyes were red.
We talked for about half a month. Qiqi still insisted on her idea and showed me her ability to live independently and her relationship with the aunt.
I was finally convinced by her.
Sometimes I thought that if I often left Qiqi and still said I loved her, wasn’t my behavior the same as Pei Lie’s?
I condemned Pei Lie, but I was doing the same thing. It was too much.
Qiqi said, “Mom, it’s different.”
“What’s different?”
“Because I can call you Mom openly, you can take me out to play anytime, you won’t leave me when I’m sick, and we can talk on the phone every day.”
I was stunned for a long time and then asked her, “Do you know about Uncle Pei…”
She nodded. “I know. He’s actually my dad.”
In recent years, Qiqi had stopped asking about her dad, and I thought she had gotten used to life without a dad. It turned out that she had known the truth for a long time.
Unconsciously, she had changed from a child who knew nothing to a mature and smart little girl.
“I don’t remember much about things before I was three years old, but I remember many things clearly after I was three. Including the time when I had a fever and he left me to avoid the paparazzi, and the time when that Aunt An insisted on having us locked in the room. I didn’t understand at that time, but I gradually understood later. He asked me to call him uncle, and he will only be my uncle in the future.”
I hugged her tightly.
My daughter’s support made me make up my mind.
I decided to go to Africa to take pictures and participate in the photography competition.
On the day of departure, the sun was shining brightly in the sky above the airport, and there were no clouds.
In the roar of the plane, Qiqi waved to me. “Goodbye, Mom.”
“Goodbye, Qiqi.”
I and several members of the team from the geography magazine turned and walked into the terminal hall.
Passing by the glass, I saw my reflection – wearing a black, capable tracksuit, my hair tied into a neat ponytail, a backpack on my back, and a camera around my neck.
I stared for a moment.
A friend called, “Liang Ying.”
I came to my senses and trotted to catch up with them.
The further I walked, the bigger the smile on my face became.
My dream from many years ago was finally about to come true.
16
Two months later, I returned to China.
The experience in Africa was dangerous and exciting, and it was unforgettable in my life.
I took satisfactory photos.
I preferred to photograph animals, but my talent was still in photographing people.
I also liked to photograph people.
A person’s soul is reflected in their appearance, temperament, and every move.
A photographer’s job is to capture that most special moment.
I selected the most satisfactory photo I took in the long – tongued tribe, “The Lion and the Woman,” and submitted it to the competition judges.
I went home and played with Qiqi.
In Africa, we often contacted each other. Unless the network failed, I would report my safety to her.
Now that I was back, the mother – daughter reunion was rare, and we played for half a month.
Zhong Ci called and said, “Sister Yingying, when are you going to be my exclusive photographer as promised?”
I thought for a while and smiled. “Next month.”
After playing with Qiqi for a while, I became Zhong Ci’s exclusive photographer.
After he finished filming the drama and started the roadshow, I followed him to take pictures all the way and took a lot of beautiful photos.
In recent years, he had become a top – tier young actor, at the height of his popularity. Just like Pei Lie back then, he also transformed into filming movies and had produced works with good reviews.
We became very good friends.
After the roadshow ended, the annual Golden Pigeon Award began.
I followed Zhong Ci to the scene to shoot again.
One of the movies he had filmed before had been nominated, and he had a good chance of winning the Best Actor award.
The awarding ceremony venue was glamorous and the lights were dazzling.
Countless stars and celebrities came and went.
I saw Pei Lie.
He was now more glamorous and mature, and every move of his exuded an air of sophistication.
When he saw me, he was suddenly stunned, and then quickly managed his expression.
I looked at him calmly and then turned my head away.
Zhong Ci talked to me. I looked up and met Pei Lie’s jealous eyes.
I didn’t feel anything and followed Zhong Ci into the venue indifferently.
The awarding ceremony started.
When it reached the climax, the host announced the candidates for the Best Actor.
Zhong Ci, Pei Lie, and another actor.
“I announce that the Best Actor is – ” The host, who was an actress – queen, dragged out the tone.
The whole audience held their breath.
“Pei Lie!”
A look of disappointment flashed across Zhong Ci’s face for a moment, and then he quickly smiled and applauded.
Pei Lie went up to receive the award and gave his acceptance speech.
After thanking a bunch of people, he said, “Besides the above people, I also want to thank someone. Thank her for accompanying me all the way and helping me grow. This is my third award. I once swore in my heart that when I got three awards, I would fulfill her wish.”
The whole audience was in an uproar.
The host asked, “Who is that person?”
Pei Lie held the little golden statue and said, “That person is my girlfriend, my future wife. Yes, I have a girlfriend and a daughter…”
The whole audience was in an uproar.
17
The news that the actor – king Pei Lie publicly announced that he had a girlfriend and a daughter almost paralyzed the Internet.
I was at the scene at that time, and I was a little surprised after hearing it.
But that was all.
Something that I no longer needed, even if it was presented in front of me again, couldn’t move me.
He said it was my wish, which was a bit funny.
That was a wish from the past. Now, I didn’t have this wish.
Zhong Ci was shocked and gossiped, “My god, Pei Lie’s secret marriage is actually true. He even has a daughter. I wonder who his girlfriend is.”
I said, “Yeah, who could it be?”
Zhong Ci said, “Do you think she’s from the entertainment industry or an outsider?”
I said, “I don’t know.”
A few days later, Pei Lie drove to my house.
This time, he wasn’t fully armed. Instead, he walked out of the car openly and walked up to me, who had just picked Qiqi up from school.
“Yingying.”
He took out an exquisite box and knelt down. “Marry me.”
Everyone was so shocked that their jaws almost dropped.
Qiqi looked up at me.
Pei Lie’s eyes were full of anticipation.
The autumn wind blew across the faces of the three of us, bringing a little coolness.
I said, “Pei Lie, we’ve broken up. I won’t be with you.”
18
Pei Lie’s generous proposal put Qiqi and me in trouble.
Countless reporters swarmed over, wanting to interview me.
I simply took Qiqi and hid in the mountains.
Zhong Ci called me. “Sister Yingying, you’re really something! I really worshiped the right person! You’re a big shot!”
I said, “Does being in love with Pei Lie make me a big shot? Wasn’t I a big shot before?”
Zhong Ci said, “No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I just mean it’s so unexpected! Do you understand how shocked I am?”
I smiled and talked to him for a few words, and also clearly told him my attitude towards Pei Lie.
He was very surprised but also said he understood.
My father actually called me.
“You’re in love with the actor – king Pei Lie and even gave birth to his child. Why didn’t you tell me?” he complained on the phone. “If I had known, we wouldn’t have had such an unpleasant time.”
I said, “No matter who I’m in love with, I’m still your daughter. The nature of my actions is the same. Why is your attitude different?”
He said, “But he’s Pei Lie!”
I hung up the phone and smiled bitterly.
I once hoped so much that I could be Pei Lie’s wife openly.
Now that I didn’t need it, Pei Lie was willing to give it, but it brought me a lot of trouble.
After a while, the photography competition informed me that I had won the first place and asked me to go to Switzerland to receive the award.
This result surprised me greatly.
I took Qiqi and flew to Switzerland.
When the reporters saw me, they desperately took pictures and asked me about my relationship with Pei Lie, not caring about my works at all.
I was a little angry and didn’t answer.
I went on stage to receive the award and also gave an acceptance speech.
I thought for a while and thanked Qiqi.
Then I said, “Now everyone in China is shocked that I’m Pei Lie’s ex – girlfriend, but I want to say that we broke up several years ago and won’t be together in the future.
“This award was won by my own efforts and has nothing to do with him. He said that being Mrs. Pei was my wish. I need to correct that. No, I don’t want to be Mrs. Pei. As for my daughter, I believe she has her own judgment. I hope everyone can respect me and focus on my career instead of who my boyfriend is.”
Then I stepped down from the stage.
I had my own life, which had nothing to do with Pei Lie.
My path had long since diverged from his and was getting farther and farther away.
19
The news spread back to China, and it became very lively.
No one thought it was incredible that I refused Pei Lie anymore.
After all, I had won a globally highly – prestigious photography award.
I was also a well – known photographer in the industry.
I reconciled with my family.
After going through so many things, we could never go back to the past.
However, I would be filial to my parents because they raised me.
Qiqi went out with Pei Lie. I didn’t know what they said, and I didn’t ask.
She was a mature and independent – minded child. Whatever decision she made, I would support her.
Pei Lie started to pursue me openly.
Before, it was me waiting for him. Now, it was him chasing me.
It was a bit ironic.
I never agreed.
One day, he chased me to the park and asked me disappointedly, “Yingying, can’t we really go back to the way we were?”
I pointed to the camellia beside us and said, “Pei Lie, the flower has withered.”
Between us, it was like this flower, having fallen into the mud, and could never return to the past.
I looked at him.
There were no more ripples in my heart.
The wind blew, the clouds dispersed, and love had long since vanished in the long blooming season.
Pei Lie looked at me and shed two lines of clear tears.
After that, he didn’t look for me anymore.
Perhaps he had deeply realized that it was impossible for him and me to be together.
Many people didn’t understand why I couldn’t accept Pei Lie again.
I didn’t need them to understand.
After the camellia blooms and withers, I bloom alone.
It has nothing to do with others.
I live only for myself.
– The End –
